1/7 Female wants to keep her last name. Male wants her to take his,
hyphenation unacceptable. Marriage this summer. What do you do?
\_ Unless she's published her PhD thesis under her current last
name, then she's just being a bitch. You'll most likely get
a divorce. Keep us posted...
\_ Become monarch of a European nation. Then no one will remember
that you even have a last name.
\_ It's her name. If she wants to keep it, she should. Seems like
the only issue that should have to be joint agreement is what
to give the kids as a name. Choosing a new name together is
another option that reduces the child issue and lets both
parties express themselves. -cdaveb
\_ If you can't agree on something this simple, don't get married.
You're not ready. Incompatible people getting married because "we
love each other" or "it was just time" is why the divorce rate is
so high. Do yourself a favor and think long and hard about this.
How many other things have you not worked out yet? Are you the same
religion? Do you both want kids? Have you agreed to raise them in
the same reloigion or non-religiously? You can't choose both. And
what about jobs? Have you discussed what you'll do if one of you
gets a killer job somewhere else? Is the other willing to give up
their job and follow? You're not ready for marriage. Why do you
need to ask this on the motd? You trolling or just too young to get
married? -happily married, no unresolved issues
\_ Ditto. -another happily married, no unresolved issues
\_ Male needs to remove head from ass.
\_ Idiot. It's a deeper issue than that.
\_ no it's not.
\_ "Yes it is, no it isn't, yes it is, no, it
isn't, nyah! nyah! nyah!" As others have
already pointed out, it's deeper than that.
You can't prove otherwise.
\_ Break up.
\_ Seconded. If she isn't willing to take his name, she'll be
a bitch of a wife. Dump her now.
Besides, what do you do if you have kids? She'll feel pretty
stupid when peole dont think she's the mother because they
have different last names. You WILL insist the children have
your name, I hope.
Note: yes, I am married. Wife went through this, as part of
'familial separation anxiety'. She got over it.
\_ Really, if you can't work this out then you shouldn't get
married. And you shouldn't need to ask on the motd.
\_ Use dashed name, maiden name as middle name, official nee postfix,
or some other mix.
\_ Wrong. They have deeper problems than her name.
\_ Declare last name to be empty string and enjoy watching databases
die from dumb bugs on a regular basis
\- flip for it and cheat.
\_ kick guy in balls. hard. repeatedly. then break up.
\_ and go find the lesbo friend that obviously suits you.
\_ Wrong. This is a couple's issue, not the fault of either. It's
the fault/problem of both. Please tell me you have no serious
relationship plans for at least the next 10 years until you
grow up and learn some tiny bit about life.
\_ You're wrong. It's obviously the guy's fault since he was
lame enough to ask the motd.
\_ The wording made me think it was a girl asking the
original question. Unlikely on soda, but...
\_ No. That's the part where we have to ask, "Is this a troll
\_ Who says the male is the one posting?
or is he just an idiot?" One stupidity does not make him
wrong on other issues. This is a problem for many couples
today and the motd has nothing to do with it either way.
If this isn't a troll then they have real problems and
probably other questions that they need to work out before
they get married. Saying he's automatically wrong because
he was lame enough to ask on the motd is stupid. Nothing
is obvious.
\_ Can you make and use a new lastname? If Ricky Martin marries
Mariah Carey, then Marrey or Cartin.
\_ Legally changing your last name is possible but a huge pain
in the ass. You have to go to court, change all sorts of
documents, get a million government and credit folks and
others to acknowledge it, blah, blah, blah. You're better
off just killing yourself. It's less painful.
\_ Uh.. what do you think many women do every time they
get married? That's a legal name change, bub.
\_ BZZZT! They still have to file papers, etc. They
don't just start using the new last name and have it
magically be their new legal name. Where do you
kids get this stuff from? And why do you go off
about things you know nothing about when others who
do know have already told you otherwise? Do you
try this in lecture, too? Tried telling your
physics prof that gravity doesn't really work?
--been there, filed papers post-marriage
\_ actually legally changing your name in CA is quite
simple. (Harder in the rest of the country though)
\_ BZZZT! See answer further down.
\_ The government does not have the right to tell you
what you call yourself. You can use whatever name
you want without restriction unless it is for
fraudulent purposes.
\_ BZZZZT! There's the name you use and put on random
documents and there's "legally changing your name".
Your passport must have your "legal" name on it.
This is the full name on your birth certificate
liscense, for instance, with any name you want.
unless you've *legally* changed it. YOU ARE WRONG!
GO TO THE END OF THE LINE! Your passport can have
"aka" names listed on it but the primary name which
is required is your legal name, not what you call
yourself and sign other documents with. Yes, in
fact, the government can prevent you from changing
your legal name and makes it reasonably difficult to
do so. Good thing you're in EE/CS and not law
school.
\_ however for California residents things are
easier. (Not for a passport no, that is a
federal document.) You can get a driver's
license, for instance, with any name you want.
Consider how powerful a form of ID that is.
\_ Yup. But it won't get you back into the
country after aliens kidnap you and leave
you in Singapore.
\_ How bad is the name? My friend's given name
is Rocky and he got it changed to Eric when
he was 18 without difficulty. The judge just
laughed at him and then signed the paperwork. |
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