4/12    As a present to my gf, I have decided to tatoo her name
        on my manly organ.  Is that romantic or what?
        \_ you probably need a size 2 font in order to fit
           all the letters.

4/14   What's with the login uname? MS-DOS V3.3 ? Is this joke going to
       last forever?
       \_ It's no joke.  We've secretly replaced soda with an MS-DOS machine
          (with Microsoft DOS/Connect for networking) and we were hoping no
          one would notice -- but damn it, you've spoiled everything.  --root
          \_ MS-D0S???/?  1 CAN RUN K1NG"Z QU3ST 0N 1T!!!!1!!!
             BUT H0W DU 1 S3ND TH3 P1CTURZ 2 MY SKR33N??????  H3LP!!!1!
          \_ alias ver 'uname -a'
        \_ some perpetual April's Fools Joke
        \_ The best one so far, IMHO            -muchandr
        \_ The joke's still there.  jon@csua attaching his name as if
           he has done anything.

4/14  I am starting an urban vandal group in SF which will go around and
      let the air out of one tire of any large 4WD jeep, etc. that takes
      up >= 2 spaces of street parking (after leaving a note on their
      windshield explaining why this was done.)  I need a good name for this
      group.  Any ideas?    Once I get the name, I can send off anonymous
      letters to SF newspapers/web sites/ etc., proclaiming the existence
      of the group.
      \_ you are indeed a very small and petty person
      \_ Let the air out of one tire of any vehicle that double-parks on
         Bancroft or Telegraph, and I'll be willing to join you and die for
         your movement.
         \_ attacking 4wd is more visible, and more amusing.  Im very serious
           about this, btw :)  I need a name, and i need to make a bunch of
           "business cards" to leave with vehicles so "vandalized"
            \_ Four-Wheeler Contras? -yetanotherwingnut
      \_ parking nazis
         \_ Too controversial.  Remember, this must appeal to the dysfunctional
           glassy eyed corporate masses/ unemployed/ illiterate/ and so on.
           People with hardly any sense of humor.  Ya gotta make it simple,
           and conscise, like a nike ad.
           \_ just do it.
      \_ you'd have everyone driving small cars like yugos and leCar's
         in SF?
         \_ RIDE BIKE!!!!
         \_ What's so wrong with everybody in SF driving a small car?  (And
            I'm talking about _reliable_ small cars, not P.O.S's like Yugos
            and the like.)  S.F. is a dense, urban area with lots of traffic
            and limited space; this would seem to be the environment that
            small cars are best-suited for.  (Oops, I forgot . . . SF is an
            __URBAN JUNGLE!!__, and you need the proper huge, manly URBAN
            ASSULT VEHICLE to tame those unruly streets!  Grrrr!)
            \_ whats so wrong with everybody in SF just riding bikes?
      \_ Key the damn things as well
         \_ I was thinking of this, but that does _damage_; the funny
           thing about letting air out, is that is does _no_ permanent
            damage, it is just a _real_ inconvenience.  The masses are more
            likely to side with us in this case.
                \_Who's eating all the parking meters in Berkeley? - danh

4/14  Can someone check the alumni machine? it seems to be down again.

4/14    Can students get condoms at a discount at the student health service?
        \_ Yes. They offer condoms for about $.80 each.
     \_ Not only that, you can get women to _say_ they have slept with
        you too, and provide you with _used_ condoms to prove it!!

4/14    You know you love it, and so does yer mom.

4/14 ``Hello.  Your vehicle is large and is taking up
  too many parking places.  Please be considerate
    of other drivers when you park.  We have deflated
      your left front tire in an effort to point out
        how annoying this can be.  There is no damage
          to the tire or your car.
              Sincereley, the Peoples' parking commission
                   (PPC).  http://www.ppc.org ''
                           \_ The Port of Philadelphia and Camden?
    \_ please change this as you wish.  Yes, i know the
      web site is a red herring.  That's what makes it even
       more subversive :)
     \_ another thing you can say is "we may have deflated..."
       that way, you don't actually have to do anything, and
       you will get the bonehead to start thinking :)
        \_ sounds like the rantings of a small and petty person
        \_ This is stupid beyond belief.  Obviously someone purchased a
            large vehicle so they could take up more than one of the numerous
            easily obtained parking spots available in Berkeley or SF.  Next
            time they'll sell their large vehicle and buy two small ones to
            keep you happy.