4/01   April is the cruelest month

3/31    Area "I" permits!  I got them.  Need to exchange for Area "F".  If
        you want to switch mail me.  -gong

3/31    HEY MELISSA BRANDT!~ !~~!
        I just thought I'd tell you that the web page you refer us to on
        your campaign flier (csua.berkeley.edu/~melissa) is bad publicity,
        my friend.  I mean, you are a lovely looking young woman, BUT...
        when I follow the link to find out why I should vote for you...
        well, you just don't....you know, deliver.   --maxmcc
        \_ "Lovely looking young woman" is all the reason I need to vote
           for her.  She's HOT!  -horny girlfriendless soda geek.
        \_ Oh yeah, Melissa, also you should check into the
           "The requested URL /~action/becs was not found on this server."
           message on the Autobahn page.
           PS.  BEN COATES FOR PRESIDENT --maxmcc
        \_ If I were you, melissa, I think
           I would file for a restraining
           order -- this max guy's after ya.
        \_ Everyone knows I'm Seano's.
           At least now that King
           Salomon is gone.   --maxmcc
             \_ So your only claim to
         fame is "I know seano and
         john?"  Lame.
        \_ I'd do 'er. -- every desperate soda geek
        \_ Why don't you all grow up and stop acting like a bunch of
           beavis and buttheads.
         \_ signed, Melissa ?!
        \_ Dibs on Beavis.
        \_ Huh huh, I think we just scored.
\_ Learn to chmod before running for the senate.
Received: from localhost (jayu@localhost) by http://soda.CSUA.Berkeley.EDU (8.6.12/8.6.
12) with SMTP id TAA26552 for <melissa@soda.CSUA.Berkeley.EDU>; Mon, 31 Mar 1997

        19:55:33 -0800
Date: Mon, 31 Mar 1997 19:55:28 -0800 (PST)
From: Old Man and the Joe <jayu@soda.CSUA.Berkeley.EDU>
To: Melissa Brandt <melissa@soda.CSUA.Berkeley.EDU>
Subject: did you know?
Message-ID: <Pine.PTX.3.95.970331195353.26076A-100000@soda.CSUA.Berkeley.EDU>
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII

just wondering if you knew your link for "why you should vote for me"
leads to an empty page. or is that what you intended? then call me
stupid because i don't quite get it :) thought you'd like to know - joe.

3/31    Someone once told me the story of some graduate math student
        who got to class so late that the class was over and there was
        some unsolved math theorem  on the board. he thought it was home-
        work and went home and solved it, and became famous. does anyone
        know if this is true?
          -kane
        \_ it sounds apocrophal
        \_ It is a true story.  The student was George Dantzig - android.
          \_ And what was the problem?
         \-I dont know the problem, but the answer was the Simplex
         Method. --psb
        \_ actually, i heard a similar story about John Milnor which goes like
        this: Milnor was in an undergraduate class at Princeton and came in
        late-- the prof had put an unsolved problem on the board and Milnor
        thought it was homework-- the problem was: is there a minimum turning
        angle for a nontrivial knot-- Milnor went home and proved that a
        non-trivial knot most turn though at least 4*pi (two revolutions)
        and so he published his first result at 18 years old-- kinda makes the
        rest of us mortals sick-- jkin
        \_ And I heard a similar story about someone different.  I think the
          blackboard /homework part is apocrophal (or at best, exaggerated)
          even tho the underlying problems and people are real.
        \_ http://www.urbanlegends.com

3/31    SODA DONATION DRIVE!!!!! Each person donate $100 for a new Linux
        based Soda machine, and get big quota and unlimited life time
        access!
        \_ FreeBSD, you anti-berkeley republican nazi.
        \_ I might go for it if the Politburo is serious about it. -PeterM
        \_ Why would we want to replace a stable, 20-processor system with
           a crappy peecee running a crappy os with crappy disks and half the
           RAM?  Are you some kind of idiot?  Or is this just april fool's a
           day early?  (putting all the users & the OS on a single EIDE disk
           is probably the absolute stupidest part of this idea, besides not
           having as much disk space as current soda)
           \_ because linux supports SMP you shithead.
         \_ Dynix may have problems, but it's multi-processor support
          is *FAR* *FAR* better than anything on Linux.
        \_ if you want your account on a linux machine, go join the LUGheads
           and get an account from them.

3/31    Can someone tell me how to get my win95 network dial-up to
        auto re-dial when the line is busy?  I've been trying ritual
        dancing and magic incantations, but I can't seem to get it to
        work. Thanks.
        \_ Perhaps if you sign your name, I will tell you the insultingly
           simple solution to your problem.
           \_ Fuck you tom.
        \_ Get KeepGoin.ZIP, a program that clicks for you. It's the only.
           way in 95. Get it at <DEAD>www.windows95.com<DEAD>
        \_ Easier yet, try modifying the dialing properties under the DUN
           folder.  I've got mine running 99 redials at 1 sec intervals.
        \_ I think that the bit about "get a real OS" should remain unsaid.

3/31    I used to have respect for someone, then I found out they
        read Details magazine.  How should I feel now?  thanks.
        \_ What magazine is this? What's it about?
          \_ Sort of a "seventeen", for insecure 22-25 year old males who want
             to be cool and wear nice clothes.
         \_ Um, gee, a magazine like GQ or Cosmo?
            \_ refine your knowledge :) GQ is for late twenty something
            insecure males -- "graduates"of magazines like Details,
            if you will....  For example, car ads don't appear in
            Details (basically, all you have money for are clothes
            and cologne); it's not until GQ till ya start seeing SUV ads
             and such.
           \_ in terms of penis size, which audience has bigger penises?
              Details readers or GQ readers?
              \_ They probably both have far bigger dongs than your
          average superficial stupid ugly unwashed poorly-
          dressed annoying Berkeley freak.  -John

3/31    Java JDK 1.1.1 is now available from JavaSoft.  -- cmlee
         \_ It was available a while ago dork. It is still in
            final beta version.
            \_ This bug-fix release came out on 3/29.  -- cmlee
           \_ Great.  Is it still really dumb ass slow?
         \_ no.  they redid a bit in assembler so now it's only
          sorta dumb ass slow.  (But still faster than
          MS Visual Basic, which proves idiots don't care
          about speed.)
          \_ HOw can you tell that it's faster than VB?
           \_ By writing programs to do the same thing
              in both and timing them.  It's called
              "benchmarking" - perhaps you've heard of it?
              (For fairness, VB is still much faster to
        write for newbies than java, which somewhat
        excuses it's slowness.)

3/30    Anyone ever been to a concert at the Greek?  How does the Gen.
        Admit. thing work--is there grass behind the concrete slab area or
        does GA mean the whole place is GA and whoever gets there first
        gets to pick their slab of concrete first?  --gracias
        \_ Well, there is the lawn, yes.  And the concrete seating/steps.
           But there's also the 'dance floor' or the pit, call it whatever
           makes you happy.  And you can get there early and take what you
           want, *or* you can beat ass and take any seat you like, please.
        --maxmcc

3/30  Happy b'day, tmonroe!
        -lye
        \_ Thank you.  Here are some ways to guarantee that I don't get
           drunk: beer, vodka, tequila, Kip's, bloody mary, aftershock,
           Mario Kart 64, cognac, and sheep.  -- tmonroe
        \_ So, how was your bday party?
            \_ bakubakubakubakubakubakubakubakubakubaku -caos